“Well, bless my soul. You’re a lonely soul, ’cause you won’t let go of anything you hold.” ~OneRepublic, “Say (All I Need)”
I’ve been caught up in the poetry of OneRepublic’s “Dreaming Out Loud” for months now. It’s as if I have a personal poet to express my thoughts and feelings. Every single song is so beautifully expressive, and encompasses so many of the feelings and thoughts I’ve had the past few years. I suppose “Dreaming Out Loud” is my soundtrack for life right now. And, Ryan Tedder has such a powerful voice that seems to be created just to tell the stories of life’s lessons through song.
Being in L.A. has been an adventure year after year. My 4 year anniversary is this October, and I can’t help but reflect on what I’ve accomplished and where I am in my life now. Recently, I was chosen as a Quarter-Finalist in the 13th Annual Fade In Awards for my script Chrysalis. In the same month, under the banner of my entertainment production company, I hosted an event that featured many different artists from graphic artists to photographers, from reggae artists to hip-hop artists. I also began shooting a documentary, Not Your Average, about my foray into the world of filmmaking as an African-American Muslim Woman. This month, I was interviewed by The Hollywood Reporter about my participation in Women In Film’s Mentor Program. My mentor is the talented director, Catherine Hardwicke. On Friday, June 12, 2009 I’ll be onstage at the Crystal + Lucy Awards, hosted by Women In Film, and recognized for my efforts thus far in my filmmaking career, in front of Hollywood.
Yet, I can’t help but feel it necessary to check my heart. Am I living my life the best way I can? Am I on the right path to what I’m destined to become? I think I am. I believe I have the perfect compass, and even though I’m sailing unchartered waters, I have a feeling in my heart that I’m headed in the right direction. And, I’m not letting go of that feeling in my heart. I hold on to my faith and I won’t let go of that.
Everyone questions their life choices, right? So, I ask myself almost everyday, “Do you know where your heart is? Did you trade it for something, somewhere better, just to have it?” My answer is, “No, I didn’t trade it. I know where my heart is.”
I’ll keep sailing, and the waters are definitely going to be rough. Storms will arise, and when the dark clouds break it is always beautiful. That is where my heart is, where the dark clouds break and the sun shines bright over clear, calm waters. To me, that’s all I need.
“Do you know where the end is? Do you think you can see it? Until you get there, go on, go ahead and scream it. Just say…” ~OneRepublic, “Say (All I Need)”